


Day at the beach

by WoodiestComic



Series: family matters [1]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers AU, Confused Avengers, Crack, Dad!Tony, Don't question it, I Don't Even Know, Jörmungandr is Tony's son, M/M, Other, Parent Tony Stark, Short & Sweet, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark is a Good Dad, Tony and Loki are a couple
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-13
Updated: 2018-03-13
Packaged: 2019-03-30 20:09:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13959075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WoodiestComic/pseuds/WoodiestComic
Summary: The Avengers get an emergency call from Nick, telling them Malibu was under attack by a giant sea-monster. What met them in malibu was not what they expected... Tony just wants to take his son to the beach.In which Tony and Loki are secretly married, and Tony has an entire family without the Avengers knowing.





	Day at the beach

The day had started off as it normally had. Steve had made breakfast, Clint had complained about whatever was on the TV at that moment, Natasha had sat in silence and Bruce drank a cup of tea. Thor was back in Asgard for the moment. Tony was nowhere to be seen, probably bust with Stark Industries as usual. They were used to the inventor not being with them in the mornings… or the evenings… or ever, really. Though they didn’t complain. Tony was supplying them with home, equipment, food and a lot more. The only one who seemed to actually have any kind of interaction with their billionaire, was Bruce. But that didn’t bother any of them, really. Tony was, after all, a busy and hard-working man, despite his billionaire status.

So it was a perfectly normal day in their routine, when the alarms suddenly blared and Fury’s voice came from the speakers. “Avengers. We’ve got a situation near the coast of Malibu, California. Some kind of monster decided to rumple the nearby beach. I trust you to take care of this one”

And with that he was gone, leaving the Avengers in a slight stump. Though instincts quickly took over, and Cap directed them all into the quin-jet. Bruce seemed hesitant to go, but Cap reminded him that there was a giant monster where they were going. Having a hulk by their side would be very useful if things didn’t go as smoothly as planned. Clint was grumbling about why they couldn’t just send the normal military.

“We defeat _one_ alien army and suddenly we’re the go-to guys for angry monsters and killing robots”

Cap sighed, settling in besides Widow in the co-pilot seat. While she took off, he pulled out his phone and tried calling Tony. It rang for what felt like minutes before he was put on voicemail. That was… strange. Normally, Jarvis would at least reply to the call and explain why Tony couldn’t make it.

It was only a few minutes later before they arrived in Malibu, and Clint actually gapes at what met them there. Towering over several buildings, was a giant, scaly snake. No… not snake, but similar. It appeared to have arms, which it was using to hold onto a cliff while it’s long, slender body coiled around the landscape. Deep blue fins, fading to red, stretched along its back. The scales were a beautiful mix of deep sea green- a cold, dark blue, along with sparkling gold in the places it’s underside was visible. It looked like it was born from the ocean itself, which made it even stranger, because it seemed to be avoiding the water at all cost, having attached itself to the rocky cliff.

“We need to start an evacuation of the city, get everyone out of here and…” Cap trailed off, eyes focusing on a small, humanoid dot down on the beach. Even from here, there was no mistaking the small, blue circle in the middle of the chest. “… is that _Tony?!_ ”

It took them only a few seconds to land the plane on the far side of the beach. The sea serpent didn’t seem at all interested in attacking them, for the moment. Cap was ready to hurl his shield at any moment, whatever good it would do against the giant serpentine.

The closer they got, the more obvious did it become that it was, in fact, Tony Stark on the beach, surrounded by giant coils of scale and muscle which could crush him without a second thought. Not only was Tony there on the beach, suspiciously alone, but he was dressed in nothing but swimwear. They couldn’t see his face, nor could he see them. It didn’t seem like he had noticed the group approach at all.

“For the last time, get down here!” He yelled up in the direction of the serpent, which in turn shook its head defiantly. Tony swore under his breath. “Months of therapy for my aquaphobia for nothing. Jor, you’re the one who wanted to go to the beach in the first place. Come on, buddy, mommy’s gonna kill me”

Again, the serpent shook its head at him, it’s grip on the cliff tightening so rocks detached and fell into the depth below. Tony let out a frustrated sigh, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “Kids” he mumbled, irritably.

“Tony?” It was Steve who asked, making the inventor jump in surprise and spin around. “Guys!”

“What the hell is going on?” Clint asked, gaping up at the giant serpent whose tail slithered just a little closer to Tony. The billionaire could have leant against it and it would still be taller than him.

“This is… explainable” Tony said slowly, as though he was trying to explain complicated mathematics to fourth graders… again. They all stared at him, waiting for said explanation. Time passed without anyone talking.

“Actually, I got nothing” Tony mumbled after a while. “One second”

He turned back to the giant monster, cupping his hands around the mouth.

“Jory, get the hee….ck down here right now. Don’t make me call mommy away from her vacation” That seemed to spark a reaction out of the serpent. It lowered its giant head, reluctantly letting go of the cliff. Avoiding the water with the greatest of care, it seemed to… shrink? Slowly but surely, the giant mass of scales and tails, turned into a much smaller mass of scales and tails. Tony was tapping his foot in the sand impatiently, his arms crossed over his chest while he waited for the snake to slither over to him.

“Jory, I should ground you for that stunt. What’s the one rule we have in this family?” He sounded like a scolding father, which made the Avengers even more confused. Tony was talking to this thing like he knew it, but that couldn’t…. what the hell was going on?

“Are you… gonna explain this?” Steve asked after a while. The snake looked at them, curling up behind Tony with it’s head bowed in shame. Tony sighed softly, turning to face his team once again.

“Guys, Jory. Jory, guys” He introduced shortly. Some sort of strange mix between a hum and a hiss came from the snake, as it moved closer to Tony, bumping its head against his thigh to get his attention.

“You want your hat?” The snake, Jory, nodded slightly. Tony sighed, bending down to pluck a small top-hat out of the beach-bag. He placed it on the snake’s head, which seemed to beam up at him now.

“Don’t give me those eyes. I’m still angry with you” Tony mumbled, though it sounded weak under the pressure of deep red eyes contrasting green and blue scales. He huffed, petting the snake slightly and shaking his head.

“You mind explaining why you’re on good terms with a giant… what even _is_ it?” Clint asked, pointing on Jory with his bow.

“ _He_ is a sea serpent, and I’m his dad” Tony said, a stiff smile on his lips.

“You’re his _what?_ ” Steve broke out, almost laughing. There was no way he’d heard that correctly. Tony couldn’t be this… this creature’s _parent_! That just wasn’t within the realm of possibility. There was no way.

“I’m his dad. A dad is allowed to take his kid to the beach” Tony replied offhandedly. The now smaller snake beamed up at him, its body curling around his leg to climb up his shoulders.

“Did you get hit in the head or something? It’s a _snake_ ”

“Serpent” Tony corrected. “And no, no I didn’t. Listen guys, I know it looks crazy and all. But I swear, this whole ordeal was just an accident. Jory’s been wanting to go to the beach for _ages_ now, and since it’s just the two of us at home today, I thought we might as well get some time together for once” He adjusted his position a bit to adjust to the added weight of Jory curling around him. He looked up at his son, narrowing his eyes a bit.

“And this little bugger got pinched on the toe by a crab, and it sort of escalated from there. I mean, what kind of sea serpent is afraid of crabs?!” Jory laid his head on his dad’s shoulders, huffing slightly. The shameful look in those red eyes seemed to visibly melt Tony’s heart.

“It’s alright, buddy. No lasting harm done. Mommy will fix this all when he gets home again, I promise”

“He?” Clint pointed out, questioningly. They were all staring at Tony, none of them able to wrap their heads around what was happening.

“Well, yeah…” Tony said, realizing how strange his life actually sounded. And they hadn’t even had lunch yet. Speaking of…

“Hey, Jory. You wanna change into a more suitable form and go get ice cream instead?” At the proposition, the snake’s head bounced up from his shoulder. He leaped down from his father’s body, landing softly in the sand. They all watched as his entire body was enveloped in a greenish-gold light. Only a second later, they were all staring down at a young boy, maybe eight or nine years old. He had dark, long hair, which curled at the ends, pale skin and the greenest eyes imaginable on a child. Similar to Tony, the boy was wearing nothing but swimming trunks and the same top-hat Tony had placed on the snake earlier. The little boy beamed up at his father, jumping to his feet and grabbing Tony’s hand.

“Can we watch Hitchhikers guide to the galaxy after?” He asked, his accent distinguishably British, a sharp contrast to Tony’s own new-yorkan. The Avengers all stared, unable to process everything that was happening.  

“Again? But we saw it yesterday”

“Yeah, but I wanna see it again” Tony sighed, shaking his head. There was no way he would be able to resist those eyes. Damn him for having his mother’s eyes! The two of them started walking past the group of stumped heroes.

“Wait, Tony! What…?” Steve stopped, unable to find his words. What the hell had just happened? Tony turned towards them, shrugging slightly.

“Sorry guys. No time. I got parenting to do. I’ll see you guys later” He said, waving before getting pulled along by the small, surprisingly strong boy. The Avengers were let there, unanswered questions buzzing in the air around them while no words came to mind. It was minutes before Clint finally broke the silence.

“That… Was officially the strangest thing I’ve ever seen Tony do”

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah... that happened. I actually wrote this a long time ago, and uncovered it today. And like the genius I am, I decided to post it because I don't even know what to do with my life anymore.


End file.
